Distinction between being Hungry and Having an Appetite

If you are hungry in the sense of not having enough food, you would not be reading this. You would be living your life hand to mouth, wondering where your next meal would be coming from. We’ve all seen images of starving, dehydrated and malnourished children. They have distended bellies, skinny arms and legs and listless expressions on their faces. This image epitomizes someone living “below the line”. 

If you were to put a plate of food in front of a starving child, she might not even be able to eat. Or if she attempted to eat with the fervor a starving person might have, chances are her stomach would be so shrunken, and perhaps her brain so deprived of the nutrients required for even basic bodily functions, that she would not be able to absorb or digest the food offered. 

It might take a few drops of water or grains of rice at a time to enable her to even begin to receive or ingest the nutrients, allowing her stomach to expand slowly. 

Most of us have plenty to eat, and thus do not suffer from starvation with regards to food. 

Although we might not be physically hungry we do tend to have facets of our lives in which we are hungry, thus living “below the line”. 

For example, maybe you’ve been living alone since your relationship ended months or years ago. You work hard at a job you like making more than enough money, live in a nice home, have plenty to eat and a lovely wardrobe. But there is no one waiting at home to give you a hug after a long day. You go to bed alone, you go out with your girlfriends. You long to be held, to cuddle, to make love. You are clearly living below the line with respect to intimacy in your life. 

Having an appetite is not the same as being hungry. Nor is it about having a goal or intention. Goals can be created out of our appetite. Goals can come out of our commitment to having our appetite fulfilled or manifested. Actions then get generated out of our commitments and goals. 

We need to distinguish between hunger and appetite. Hunger is survival based whereas appetite is generated from your desire and is for your pleasure. And, while the object desired may feel like something you can’t live without, deep down you know your life won’t end if you don’t have it. People living “above the line” have the privilege to choose freely – simply for the pleasure of it. 

Consider the following words and their definitions: 

Appetite: 

a strong desire or liking for something: an unquenchable appetite for life! 

Research: 

investigate, study, inquire into, probe, explore, analyze, examine, scrutinize. 

Research is one of my favorite words! Here’s why....In terms of dating/relationship, if you’ve had an experience that was less than great, it was good research. And if you’ve had a fabulous experience it was good research! 

Irresistible: 

1. Impossible to resist.
   2. Having an overpowering appeal. 

What would be irresistible to you in your life?
Chocolate? Tropical vacations? Cuddling with your partner? Napping in the afternoon? Being in great shape? 

Unreasonable: 

1. Not governed by or predicated upon reason.
   2. Exceeding reasonable limits; exorbitant; immoderate. 

Now think about those things that are irresistible to you. What is so irresistible that you’re willing to be unreasonable (or doing what it takes) to have it in your life? 

Personal Fulfillment Inventory 

Please rate each of the following on a scale of 1-5 according to where you are now: 

1 - Not at all fulfilling

2 - OK
3 - Neutral
4 - Pretty good 

5 - Excellent 

__________ Body and the physical shape you’re in-how happy are you? 

__________ Home and living situation-is it pleasing to you? 

__________ Level of intimacy in relationships-how satisfied are you? 

__________ Communicating your needs-do you? how comfortable are you? 

__________ Your work/creative expression. How much are you thriving? 

__________ Fun in your life. Do you have enough? 

__________ Money. Do you have enough? 

__________ Do you feel spiritually fulfilled? 

__________ Your sensuality and sexuality-Are you satisfied? 

__________ Your desires. How clear are you? 

Now add up the total. If it adds up to more than 30 you are living a life that is above the line! If more than thirty but less than 50 consider you have some room for improvement! 

Desire: 

Noun: wish, want, aspiration, fancy, inclination, impulse; yearning, longing, craving, hankering, hunger; eagerness, enthusiasm, determination 

Verb: want, wish for, long for, yearn for, crave, hanker after, be desperate for, be bent on, covet, aspire to; fancy 

What do you desire? 

Consider all facets of your life including (but not limited to) your: 

• Health and well-being 
• Home and physical environment 
• Relationships (partner, family, community) 
• Sensuality and sexuality 
• Spirituality 
• Money and abundance 
• Creative expression/professional life 
• Vacations and travel 

Let yourself really sink down into that place of deep desire; perhaps remembering a younger version of you that truly believed you could have or be anything you desired! 

What do you desire in the realm of relationship? 

Suggestions: 

• A deep, meaningful relationship 
• More communication with existing relationship 
• More sex 
• More fun